4:26pm and I just got my Dean's List letter from Devry University! WOO-HOO!! For whatever its worth I do feel motivated to keep going.

9:32am and I am prepared for a more focused and structured 2010. I've been doing so much better since I started sleeping at night rather than working all night. My health is actually improving!

Echoes of Lost Generations Journal 002

Saturday, December 26, 2009

It is the weekend after Christmas
I've been fighting depression all month
Frustrated with business and the non-stop battle to stay afloat
Drowning in my own self-pity
But no idea how to stay down
All I know how to do is fight
I'm a veteran at struggling...
Sadness...
When that is one of your strong points
Mastering the art of living broke
Blockbuster nights
Playing Monopoly, Taboo, Eating Good
Sharing smiles, handshakes, hugs, and laughs
Enjoying life as it comes
Treasuring each moment as a rare jewel
And never, Never focus on the negative...
I started this entry with the intent to expose my hurt
I wanted you to see that I am but a man
wanted to show my flaws
But see now that it is not so easy
I have no true complaints
I trust God
I trust myself
I trust my wife
Took me a few years to get to this point
Able to lean on my wife
My socio-structure looked down on that
Not for even the smallest reason
Did a man depend on his wife
I see so much error in my perception now
If I dont have my wife to lean on, then I have nothing
I may as well be alone
And it sure feels good to "NOT" be alone right now
In what appears to be one of my greatest hours of need
Without the mental support of such a strong women
I would surely be out doing something negative
Or lying somewhere in a pool of self prescribed hate
There is something very alluring about 2010
Something telling me that its ok to go forward
 
Mario D'Andre Robinson
CEO / Brand Manager
8 Robinsons LLC
8 Robinsons Entertainment
Green Cre8tions

10:23am and I asked Jett if he seen Santa last night. He said "Yes! On Disney Channel!" I tell you we are dealing with a new breed of kid here...

8:32am and while taking a bath Jett yells that he caught a "number 2" in the tub! When we run in he has a piece of wet paper with the number 2 on it from a toy and is laughing! 4yrs old is WAY too young to pull pranks on parents!

8:27am and I just realized how much I enjoy taking my son and his cousin to school each morning! My uncle paul spent a lot of time with us and as a result we ride or die for him. I want all my kids, neices and nephews to have the same love for me...

Echoes of Lost Generations Journal 001

December 15, 2009

Its 6:59am and I've been up since 3:30am
Sitting here with a mask on my face now
breathing in steroids for my asthma
wondering if this will be my life from now on
being that I am 33 now
it's a good chance that it will be...

sadness...

I'm exercising again though
eating better
feeling better
I want to fight back now
I want life to know that it does not own me
rather that I own my life
I make it what it is each day
by helping others
by mentoring
by learning from others
by respecting others
by asking others
I own me!
Its almost time to take my son and his cousin to pre-K
Jett's teachers are upset because I did not do a conference
Problem is that he has not learned much there academically
I'm teaching him at home
I feel we get so much more accomplished
He complains of being made to sit indian style for long periods of time
It took me a while to explain to him that "criss cross applesauce"
was not a fun game...

sadness...

They eat, play, sing songs and take naps
While other pre-K kids that I know
are writing, reading, drawing, and more
So I did not want to be faced with telling the school
what I really think about their program
That the only reason Jett is still there
is that he learns social skills
and is in the habit of going to bed ontime and waking up early
He makes friends quickly
he gets bullied easily
But I try not to fight his battles
My dad or mom never did for me
and it made me stronger
Made me realize that I had to be able to defend myself
And now as a man that lesson has carried over
We all get bullied in various ways
Used on our jobs
talked about amongst our peers
But we never fight every single battle
I try and teach my son to recognize when its time to fight
and when its time to walk away

7:10am now and I'm praying as I type
thanking God for allowing me to simply breathe another day
been suffering with low level lungs for many years now
I pray that others realize how great it is to run freely
To exercise and play sports without fear of dying
My wife hates it when I speak of dying
I do not fear my departure
and I do want her to be prepared
So I realize that I'm harder on her than others
Wanting to make sure she can maintain a budget
Love seeing her growth as a business owner!
She learns from me but will not openly admit it.
I pray for both our continued growth
Spiritually and Mentally
I pray that we find success and happiness in simply living
I pray that we find contentment in such that we have

7:18am now and I've gotten Jett ready for school
waiting for Elys to get here now
I'll drive them to school and return home to continue working

Its almost Christmas now
I've found verses in the Bible that speak against the customs of man
Cutting trees and bringing them into their homes
You would think that with all the Go Green projects
That people would discontinue that as a tradition
To each his own though...
Jett wants to decorate the trees outside this year
I actually like his idea
I think its very socially responsible.
Hanging bird and squirrel feeders on the trees
Although he did suggest fish food as well
His imagination is 10x worse than mine was at his age

I'm watching "The Men Who Stare At Goats" now
Actually I've been watching it off and on since 3:30am
as I get time
it's kind of hard to follow
has a lot of dry humor
George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, & Kevin Spacey
They seem lost in Iraq
Dreamers
Chasing a dream in circles
All the while brilliantly exposing the irresponsibility of the war there
I like the movie, love the soundtrack, appreciate the humor
I feel like these men
I'm a dreamer
that chases dreams in circles
Although I accomplish many goals
I always seem to end up back where I started
The only way out is up...

if you can understand that...

the only way out is up

Mario D'Andre Robinson
8 Robinsons LLC - Co-Owner / Brand Manager - www.8robinsons.com
Unite 4 Christ - Co-Executive Director - www.unite4christ.us

9:03am and I'm still so very behind. Got two labs, a quiz, a paper, 4 discussion boards, and 3 websites to complete. Lawid have mercy on your child!

10:13am and I'm feeling good today. My health is about at 80% now, I've been getting sleep allowing my body to heal itself. I'm learning to schedule work better...

7:22pm and I'm home again... trying to rest before jumping on the computer and knocking out my projects... jett climbing all on me like I'm a one man playground... oh joy!!

9:19am and I'm headed to a meeting which I'm not that excited about attending. time to turn on the corporate smile. would rather be home working getting things accomplished.

8:21am and I'm working at moms & pops fighting a 2yr and 1yr old who insist on pressing my laptop keys. It's like trying to eat with flies trying to land on your food! aaaaahhhhhhh!

1:06am and I'm up praying with the breathing machine running, mask on my face... while writing a paper and taking my quizzes... asking God not to let it all be in vain... i'm sacrificing so much... doing so much for others first... only hoping that I may benefit in the end

11:11am to do list crazy! Need t-shirt designs for event this weekend, need prominentllc website, prominent business cards, complete crawfish tales IPTV network, redo mobypincher.com, do TCUSA brochures, and the list goes on and on....

5:53am and I've been up working since 3:45am once again. Got some sort of virus or cold and its really sad with all the things I have to do this week... My Health is My Wealth... I suppose... :-(

10:04pm and I'm watching Steven Seagal as a COP! What the Heezee?! Show is on Arts and Ent. www.aetv.com This is crazy but so entertaining! Why do I want to see him get beat up?

4:18am and I keep waking up at 3am unable to go back to sleep! this is what happens when I go to bed on time. Guess its back to working late nights...

9:23am and I spent yesterday reasoning with my 4yr old! He said if the world was round then the grass would fall off! Then he said he was made of sand and i was made of "dirt" because I was darker!! lol!