Echoes of My Generation: Journal 019 12/19/06

This has been one of the toughest two periods I've experienced this year
On last Sunday I woke up early not wanting to get out of bed
But I hadnt been to church in months
I had committed to driving my father when he preaches out of town at least 2x a month
And I was feeling guilty for not holding true to that
It seemed that every Sunday something came up
So on this Sunday I dressed myself and my youngest son and went to meet my dad
We drove 1hr 30min to Griffin GA
My mom, my youngest son, and I went to Mcdonalds while my dad hosted the church radio broadcast
For a moment I thought of when I was younger and we traveled with my father
We would be so hungry but didnt have much money for eating
And on this Sunday my dad went straight to the radio station
I decided to drop him off and feed my son because Ididnt want him experiencing what I had
My mom was hungry as well and came along.
After the broadcast we had Sunday School and then the church service
My Son flirted with the girls behind us the entire Sunday School
I've never seen a one year old so silly!
it was funny how the people there who hadnt seen me in a long time seem surprised
They never knew I had a son
And being the old school church type they asked with suspiscion...
'Are you married?"
As if I was destined for hell and high water if I had a kid with no wife
They looked relieved as I replied yes, my wife and my other son are at home.
I felt like the old school church mother when my son decided he wanted to show out during the sermon
So I raised that classic church finger and took him outside to tell him some things
He gave me a look like "I'm sorry, just dont spank me again and I'll be good!"
It was the saddest yet cutest stunt he's ever pulled off.
So we went back in to enjoy the sermon (only old school church people will know about taking the kids outside to discipline them during the service.)
He eventually went to sleep while my father remained preaching his heart out
He was running around the pulpit, sittting down, standing back up
Coming into the crowd, shouting, yelling, halfway singing (just like old times)
He jumped high into the air yelling and seemed to land awkwardly
And when he was finished the church was still shouting and praising
When the minister stood him up to put his overcoat on...
He collapsed!!
I froze in my seat, while they rushed around him!
Some of the mothers and sisters screamed as if the holy ghost itself had jumped on him
His face showed obvious pain
And I later found out that when they straightened his legs out, he passed out from the pain...
I heard someone ask "Is he breathing?!"
My mom came to me with a few tears in her eyes. She wiped them and said "he hurt his legs but they dont know it. they didnt see it happen..."
She got my son so I could go to him
It was annoying the way the ladies were pulling on my arm crying,
Holding each other and crying telling me 100 things I should do
There was one older lady in particular who was so nice and helpful
We got my fathers keys from his pocket and she got in the backseat with my son
And I drove with my mom in the passenger seat as the mother in the back gave directions
During the entire ordeal my son seemed unphased
His first reaction was to look at me and yell "Eat! Dad-da Eat!! Eeeeaaat!"
I smiled at his response and it calmed me a lot.
I fed him his snack and changed his diaper in the emergency room
We later found out that he had ruptured his Achilles tendon
Most of my family made the long drive that night to visit him
I thanked God that something had told me to get up and drive him that morning
The hospitial "Spaulding Regional Medical Center in Griffin, GA" SUCKED@!!&^!@
He sat in pain until thursday when they finally got a correct diagnosis
We argued and fussed to get him transfered to Atlanat to no success
We emailed the hospital administrator and everything, and finally got results
I'm leaving a lot of detail out but it was a hard week
Me and my mom even slept in the car the first night there because they told her
She couldnt sleep in the room with him at 10:30 that night (why didnt they tell us earlier when we could have arranged for someone to take her home or give her a place to stay)
My father was and still is in a lot of pain
He is embarrased to go use the restroom now
Luckily we have a very open relationship with our father and we can joke about it
And keep him laughing, but I know it s hard on him.
He is stuck in the bed for a while now and cant walk or move his legs
I take him movies every day to watch
So we need your prayers...
And on top of all that last night my son drank some bug spray and had to be rushed to the emerency room
I was in the studio making tracks and I heard my wife calling me
And I was like "here we go again"
The only thing that kept me cool was his playfulness.
He nver acted like he was poisoned so I didnt have a feeling like he was dying
The docter confirmed and we came home..
Its been a hard two weeks!!!

One Love
Mario D'andre Robinson
www.mdrart.com

Echoes of My Generation: Journal 018 12/04/06

It's been over a month since I've written anything
Way too much has been going on and my thoughts have been everywhere
It was either censor my blogs or just dont write
I had some internal things to work out
I just had lunch in the IBM cafe and got bad vibes
They were from this one lady who is always there eating and cursing throughout her meals
It seems as if each day she has a new reason to be in snap mode
She almost mesed my meal up for me.
I had to tune her out because for a while my cornbread was getting on my nerves
It was hard and I wanted my money back. lol
But I shook the negativity and simply put it in the microwave for a few seconds
this has reinforced my beliefs that we are influenced by our enviroments
and unless we meditate and focus on the positive
we can so easily be consumed by wayward thoughts and ill feelings
I have a lot of work to do before 07
A lot of admin / business type things to wrap up
and there is so much I want to discuss as I havent written in ages
I'm wearing my wedding ring again
I had stopped due to eczema that breaks out each time that I wear it
The same thing happens with watchs that are too tight
So I suffer just so I can please those who need a ring to make their marraige legit
I've never understood why a ring symbolizes the marraige
As if when it comes off the marraige is no longer valid?
And at that moment right there all of the hope put into the finger garment is voided.
I watched The Devils Playground a doucmentary on Amish lifestyle
And their men grow their beards to symbolize marraige
I imagine that so many cultures have so many different ways to show it
And I wonder how many just have the husband and wife
On one accord, loving eachother the right way
Providing for each other, never cheating on each other, faithful until the end
No beards, no rings, no tatoos, just two people in unconditional love
until death do they part...
Thats romance to me, thats the thing that silver anniversaries are made of
When humans can get past outward appearances and formalities of the flesh
When we can get past the concept of orgainized religion
Only then can we embrace our differences and truly love one another
And I guess for now, I'm wearing my ring once again
And when the heat comes and my hands sweat, the eczema will return
And then I wont wear my ring until my hand is better
Only I want you to know that my marraige is so much more than this metal around my finger
It cannot begin to symbolze the struggle, the triumph, the excitement, the passion and the pain
That mine or any marrage consist of
Its like a needle in a silver haystack
And i guess that's all I'll discuss in this blog

One Love,
Mario D'Andre Robinson
http://www.myspace.com/mdrart
http://www.zealotdandresdream.com