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I dedicate this journal to a very special lady
A young mother who has just entered motherhood for the first time
I've sat in the background and watched her struggle
Her last few months of highschool were hard
The baby's father claims no responsibility
Everyone around her continues life as if her condition doesnt exist
Which may be the thing that has kept her strong up until now
Just knowing that she was going to have to do this on her own when it came down to it
So many people pointing fingers and looking for someone to blame
As if blame can make the 9.5 pound baby girl in her stomach dissappear
I listened as she told me that she was attacked
Possibly by associates of the baby's father
Still no police nor family assistance...
They said there was not enough proof
To this day the entire situation puzzles me
Situations like these in which you know that someone is lying
I've watched her face though as it runs through the pains of pregnancy
She rarely yells out
Rarely mumbles or even complains
Almost as if she is scared that she will offend someone
I want to tell her to scream so bad
You know?
Just yell and let out all the frustration
But she carries her load in silence
She was a week past due and we visited her again
Her hands and feet swollen as her body prepares itself naturally for the events to come
We walked and walked for what seems like hours
Around the mall, through the zoo, we walked as if there wasnt a tomorrow
And we had to walk forever to preserve today
I watched as her stomach tightened and still she showed no signs of pain outside of mild facial expressions
She would whisper to me "I'm tired."
And I would tell the group to let us rest.
She would say "I'm hungry" but wouldnt ask for food.
So I would tell someone to get her what she wanted.
It was as if she felt that she was an inconvenience to those around her.
Who had imposed such a harsh punishment?
Her family continued to walk far ahead of her often not looking back to check on her
So me and my wife would fall back to walk with her
Maybe she wasnt as bad off as I thought
Maybe she could walk around the zoo and be a week over due with no problems
But why would anyone want to take that chance!
My sons need another cousin. the family needs another branch on the tree
I was proud that she rarely complained in the open
Who had led this young lady to feel this way and harness so much frustration
But in the end she wins
She never allowed any of it to turn her around
No adoption going here, she will keep her daughter
She stayed humble through it all
and early monday morning, she gave birth to her baby girl
A nice size package for a first go around
I pray that while everyone else focuses on the negatives of her situation
that she can move on and love her daughter with all the love that she "was not" getting
I pray that she doesnt waste all her energy fighting for a father that doesnt want his baby
I pray that she has the courage to move from her environment to seek a better life
It's been a long time since I witnessed anything so sad
She was dropped off at the hospital by her family
Her mom stays on the other side of town and was at work
Left to face the unknown possibilities of childbirth on her own
So we contacted her through phone calls and text messaging
Told her to call anytime as we waited for her mother to arrive.
And I prayed for her all night.
I was relieved when my wife told me that she had decided to take the epidural
At least she wouldnt have to deal with all of the pain alone
The drugs would help her
And they called me on Monday morning and said it was over
I gave a sigh of relief and said Thank God in my mind
Another victory had just been one by the Angels in heaven
And Lord knows that this was a battle that was far from easy
So now we enter into the secnd phase.
We have to pray that she raises a great woman
But for now her mom is my new super hero
And anything she needs within good reason I will be here for her
One Love,
Mario D'Andre Robinson
www.zealotdandresdream.com
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