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Yesterday I saw a dude step out of a nice shiny BMW
It had to be about 95 degrees outside almost as if hell had opened up a window
Why did dude have on a blue Hawaiian shirt and corduroys!?
He was sweating so bad that his hair was matted to his neck
I wondered if the car was costing too much for him to shop
Or if money allowed you to be like F it?
I’ve been working 12 hour days all week
So I guess you can imagine the type of thoughts that race through my head these days
After the first 12 hour day you get very tired
By the second you are so tired that you hallucinate while making the hour trek home each night
By the third day life and all things are moving in slow motion
Almost as if you are on some wonder drug
Right now it’s the fourth day and I’m numb to the tiredness
I cant sleep now
I’ve grown used to this and I know that I am going to pass out soon
Cant rest though
My son has football camp bright and early Saturday morning
Did I ever mention that my wife is so sexy to me
That’s like an added bonus in a marriage
Funny thing is that we didn’t fall in love from lust
It started as a long distance relationship
Sometimes I still think that our conversations apart are better than the personal ones
A phone call or email or instant message…
Crazy how technology influences us these days
So we fell for each other and she moved to GA to marry
two kids later we are still together
Still attracted to each other
Our wedding anniversary is coming up on the 31st
And honestly its going to have to be a creative day, because I am going through some hard times financially
It’s taking every bit of energy I can gather just to keep my head above water
Cant lose my business, Cant lose my house, Cant lose my job, Cant lose my family
SO I’m treading with all the rage of an Olympic Swimmer stuck in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with only a glimmer of a island in the far distance
And sometimes after all that to come home to a sexy lady makes you forget about the pain for a minute…
I’m getting crazy flack for wanting to sell my house and get an apartment for a minute
I need to cut my cost of living in order for my family and business to thrive
I need to get my credit score up and save at the same time
401K seems like a joke, the stock market is sheisty
So I have only my talents to rely on
An apartment will subtract the worries of home maintenance, yearly taxes and the never ending stress of my Uncle (the co-signer) threatening that I’m messing his credit up
That’s the one reason I don’t like people helping me out
It almost always comes back to bite you in the butt
Here’s a guy that has never seen my house, hasn’t had to spend one dime on it, didn’t even show up at the closing
So I had to sign twice as many paper once for me and once for him (if you’ve bought a home you know about the stack of paperwork!)
And after all that he asks for $2,000 of my equity….
I just got a tear in my eye
I really don’t think this is the way God intended for me to go
So to all my doubters, this is why I must get an apartment
Before you can rebuild you have to destroy
I can afford any home I want, just need to get out of a bad deal
dang… it kind of feels good to get that off my chest
Don’t get me wrong I love my Uncles and family
One recently lent me a great sum of money and trusted me to pay him back
I love him for that. He’s actually always been there for me
And you never hear nothing else about your situation from him
I see God in his actions and aspire to be like him
My job (IBM) don’t want to issue overtime to me for working 12 hour days all week
So its Friday and I’m not doing NOTHING!
May even go catch a movie.
I want to see superman but everyone says it sucks
What do you think? Have you seen it?
While I’m getting stuff off my chest I want to question why are men horny each morning?
Is there something in our genetic make up that makes us think of sex each morning
Do I have enough honest male readers to comment on that
Well my female readers please do comment
Sometimes I fight it with all my might,
Then other times I find myself spooned up with my wife imaging she was waking up lol!
And after lying there for about 10min, I either fall asleep or wake up realizing that she isn’t going to roll over and give me any yum-yum
And that’s usually how my day starts.
I’m thinking now if that’s a curse or something?
Do I need help? Do I need porn?
Lol! The radio station in ATL calls a porn addiction a “Kirk Franklin” now
That’s too funny also ironic
Why are we so infatuated with watching it,
Do we all have hidden fantasies that we are too scared to work out
Are we thinking of our significant other or that person on the screen who we will never touch
I found out later in life that women were just as addicted to it as men
I spent a great many of my early years addicted to it
But now I’d rather watch my wife lay around in the nude
Doing subtle stuff
Secretly tempting me, waiting for me to “jump her bones” as she calls it
I guess I’m no better
I’ve been hooked on closing the door and doing the same since we first met
I remember her saying when we first met that she may need to see what she’s working with before she marries
I casually showed her! Lol!
Don’t know if what I did was politically correct or not but we’re still together
And she married me.
I’m practicing being more open now
To make my blogs more like journal entries.
Too many people have blogs now
But I want you to hear my innermost thoughts, my echoes…
One Love,
Mario D’Andre Robinson
http://echoesoflostgenerations.blogspot.com/
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