Echoes of My Generation: Journal 008 07/21/06

Yesterday I saw a dude step out of a nice shiny BMW
It had to be about 95 degrees outside almost as if hell had opened up a window
Why did dude have on a blue Hawaiian shirt and corduroys!?
He was sweating so bad that his hair was matted to his neck
I wondered if the car was costing too much for him to shop
Or if money allowed you to be like F it?
I’ve been working 12 hour days all week
So I guess you can imagine the type of thoughts that race through my head these days
After the first 12 hour day you get very tired
By the second you are so tired that you hallucinate while making the hour trek home each night
By the third day life and all things are moving in slow motion
Almost as if you are on some wonder drug
Right now it’s the fourth day and I’m numb to the tiredness
I cant sleep now
I’ve grown used to this and I know that I am going to pass out soon
Cant rest though
My son has football camp bright and early Saturday morning
Did I ever mention that my wife is so sexy to me
That’s like an added bonus in a marriage
Funny thing is that we didn’t fall in love from lust
It started as a long distance relationship
Sometimes I still think that our conversations apart are better than the personal ones
A phone call or email or instant message…
Crazy how technology influences us these days
So we fell for each other and she moved to GA to marry
two kids later we are still together
Still attracted to each other
Our wedding anniversary is coming up on the 31st
And honestly its going to have to be a creative day, because I am going through some hard times financially
It’s taking every bit of energy I can gather just to keep my head above water
Cant lose my business, Cant lose my house, Cant lose my job, Cant lose my family
SO I’m treading with all the rage of an Olympic Swimmer stuck in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with only a glimmer of a island in the far distance
And sometimes after all that to come home to a sexy lady makes you forget about the pain for a minute…
I’m getting crazy flack for wanting to sell my house and get an apartment for a minute
I need to cut my cost of living in order for my family and business to thrive
I need to get my credit score up and save at the same time
401K seems like a joke, the stock market is sheisty
So I have only my talents to rely on
An apartment will subtract the worries of home maintenance, yearly taxes and the never ending stress of my Uncle (the co-signer) threatening that I’m messing his credit up
That’s the one reason I don’t like people helping me out
It almost always comes back to bite you in the butt
Here’s a guy that has never seen my house, hasn’t had to spend one dime on it, didn’t even show up at the closing
So I had to sign twice as many paper once for me and once for him (if you’ve bought a home you know about the stack of paperwork!)
And after all that he asks for $2,000 of my equity….
I just got a tear in my eye
I really don’t think this is the way God intended for me to go
So to all my doubters, this is why I must get an apartment
Before you can rebuild you have to destroy
I can afford any home I want, just need to get out of a bad deal
dang… it kind of feels good to get that off my chest
Don’t get me wrong I love my Uncles and family
One recently lent me a great sum of money and trusted me to pay him back
I love him for that. He’s actually always been there for me
And you never hear nothing else about your situation from him
I see God in his actions and aspire to be like him
My job (IBM) don’t want to issue overtime to me for working 12 hour days all week
So its Friday and I’m not doing NOTHING!
May even go catch a movie.
I want to see superman but everyone says it sucks
What do you think? Have you seen it?
While I’m getting stuff off my chest I want to question why are men horny each morning?
Is there something in our genetic make up that makes us think of sex each morning
Do I have enough honest male readers to comment on that
Well my female readers please do comment
Sometimes I fight it with all my might,
Then other times I find myself spooned up with my wife imaging she was waking up lol!
And after lying there for about 10min, I either fall asleep or wake up realizing that she isn’t going to roll over and give me any yum-yum
And that’s usually how my day starts.
I’m thinking now if that’s a curse or something?
Do I need help? Do I need porn?
Lol! The radio station in ATL calls a porn addiction a “Kirk Franklin” now
That’s too funny also ironic
Why are we so infatuated with watching it,
Do we all have hidden fantasies that we are too scared to work out
Are we thinking of our significant other or that person on the screen who we will never touch
I found out later in life that women were just as addicted to it as men
I spent a great many of my early years addicted to it
But now I’d rather watch my wife lay around in the nude
Doing subtle stuff
Secretly tempting me, waiting for me to “jump her bones” as she calls it
I guess I’m no better
I’ve been hooked on closing the door and doing the same since we first met
I remember her saying when we first met that she may need to see what she’s working with before she marries
I casually showed her! Lol!
Don’t know if what I did was politically correct or not but we’re still together
And she married me.
I’m practicing being more open now
To make my blogs more like journal entries.
Too many people have blogs now
But I want you to hear my innermost thoughts, my echoes…

One Love,
Mario D’Andre Robinson
http://echoesoflostgenerations.blogspot.com/

Echoes of My Generation: Journal 007 07/18/06

Yesterday was my moms birthday
I told her happy birthday and gave her $10 that I had been trying to give her for a week now
I'm watching Lord of the Rings the two towers right now
And I'm learning so much from the plights of mighty men
Men who hold high their standards
I watched as some couldnt deny themselves the temptation of the ring
While others succesfully fought off its seducing powers
The most humble men, The quietest, the most reserved
And I imagine myself in their shoes
I am much like them in my day to day life
Refusing to let go of the good that dwells in me
Helping others before I help myself
And even now, as I reflect back on that I see the error of so many
Believing that they have to make themselves perfect before they can help others
I suggest that we can draw from the good that is in us
We all have something to share, some way to help others
And at no time can we ever give up
Even if there is a chance that we may be harmed along the way
And in that sense I feel that I am a King
And all those that feel likewise shall also take their perspective titles as Kings and Queens
We are the few that recognize life as being about more than what glitters and gleams
We are those that feel there is some hope within a few of us
My wife just called
It seems my sons have pink eye
and the oldest also has poison Ivy
What a way to end your summer huh?
I
My soul is overcome with a will to go on
I truly believe that I server a greater purpose
Even while some say that I am doing good things
There has to be more that i can do...

One Love,
Mario D'Andre Robinson
htp://www.dandresdream.com

Echoes of My Generation: Journal 006 07/17/06

I've been up since 4:45am
Practicing getting up early now. School starts on Aug7th!
So I have to prepare to beat the traffic each morning
cant believe its been over a month since I last wrote
You guys really have to get on me when I'm slacking
Life is still just as hard as always for a young entrepreneur
So many obstacles hurl themselves at you daily
Family, work, business, friends etc..
I'm starting to wonder if I will ever get a break
the only thing that I do know is that I will never give up
My hopes and dreams are all I have left
And I want to build a legacy
I want to set a foundation that will support generations after me
I envision a corporation, a powerhouse of associated companies
Providing jobs for the poor and a place for the creative minded to express themselves
I've missed my two sons terribly this summer
My youngest was gone for but a week and it seemed like forever
The eldest nearly a month
The house seems to groan and creak when they are not around
The halls seem long and lonely
No little padding of footprints can be heard running up and down them
I miss watching my 13mth old son Jett slide down the steps like a penguin on ice
He's back now and trying to walk up the steps
He stands on the first and holds the rail
Then he lets go and crawls to the next step
He stands on that step and touches the rail and repeats the process (lol)
In his mind he is walking up the steps like an adult
I missed wrestling with him before bedtime eachnight
He laughs as he tries to stick his fingers in my ears and mouth
I tickle him and roll over him like a steamer in return
We repeat this and laugh until both of us can barely keep our eyes open
I was lazy all weekend. Had so much to do
Maybe it was the heat
We havent run our AC much this summer.
Simply cost too much
So I sat around most the weekend after riding to South Carolina to pick Jett up
I have so many friends that I miss
Ones who I havent seen or spent time with in a while
Does marraige do that to you?
Do everyone take off running in the opposite direction when you are married?
Can I get a lunch? A phone call? Anything?
Me and my wife have had a great time while the kids were gone
Finding new areas in the house to "jungle wrestle"
I've spent more time this week in my birthday suit than I have in a long time!
I guess thats too much info, but you should really try it
Especially those that dont have kids and no roomates
Young couples especially
Come home, lock the doors, close the blinds and be free!
I promise you that your relationship will be enhanced after the first week
Ok let me not promise, you may have some issues on the table
and this procedure requires peace of mind before freeing your body!
I have a lot of work to do today so I must go now
I'm going to attempt to write more frequently and even start a sketch blog.
Thats right! I'm drawing again!!!!

One Love,
Mario D'Andre Robinson
www.zealotdandresdream.com